Dr. Gas

I had this interesting adventure at the oral surgeons today. I realized what a strange ritual dental care really is. Here I am, in some random guy's house [home office] and I gleefully pay this man to scrape out part of my gums. He was a really nice guy...friendly...we talked about the weather and exchanged pleasantries, similar to a trip to the hair-cutter. It was all sweet and rosy until he brings out the novacaine needle. [doesn't anyone use laughing gas anymore?**]. I'm lying there trying to imagine anything but needles going into the side of my face. The procedure itself didn't really hurt but I could hear all of the scraping way too clearly because it was so deep inside of my head. That, coupled with the classical music piped in the room felt a little too Clockwork Orange-ish for my taste. I survived, and with ice cream [chocolate/vanilla swirl with rainbow sprinkles] for lunch, it wasn’t such a bad day afterall.

**The laughing gas reminded me of a funny story from childhood. I had to have been 8 or 9 years old and went to a local Greenwich doctor that I will call Dr. Gas. Dr. Gas [needless to say] had this affinity for laughing gas.[I have talked to several other people in town who had similar situations with this guy]. I went in for a tiny filling and for whatever reason, he decides to give me the Gas. Doctor Gas has another patient in the next room, so he has Crazy Nurse Lady standing over me with this gas mask on my face, holding it over my nose for what felt like half an hour. All I could see was the dentist light above my face getting more and more distorted as the room started to move. I felt GIDDY. Suddenly the phone rings and the nurse leaves the room, forgetting about me and the mask that is now strapped to my face. By the time she comes back in the room, I am high as a kite, slowing sliding out of the chair. It reminded me of the episode when Bugs Bunny meets that big Red Hairy Monster and everything starts going in slow-mo, including the Monster’s voice [come heeeeeeeeere bunnnneeeee raaaaaabbbbbit]. So to prevent my putty-like, spineless body from ending up in a puddle on the floor, Crazy Nurse Lady straps me into the chair, arms tied with the gas STILL on my face. By this time, I’m literally cracking up and laughing hysterically at both Dr. Gas and Crazy Nurse lady. I got my filling and a pack of Dentyne. [since someone already made a rude comment about Dentist-wierdness and me being strapped in a chair, please note that I was conscious and my mom was in the room [freaking out] so you can get those ideas right out of your head]

Speaking of Gas...there's some LI based Natural Gas company that has an ad slogan that goes 'I've got Gas!'. The phone number is even something like 1800-IVEGOTGAS. How much fun were those ad guys having?!!